This Week in Schadenfreude

Fish Sticks gets fired and the Proud Boys stand by--for prison

[A couple of quick notes about last night’s post: First of all, I inadvertently uploaded the wrong document, which explains the egregious number of typos, errors of syntax, and worse. A few people pointed out the errors, alerting me to the problem—and most of you were even kind about it :) Second, I now understand what the problem with the links was: A lot of them were missing because, again, I uploaded the wrong document but when you embed urls in Substack, the word or phrase you connect to the link gets underlined. It’s very faint and hard to see so, in future, I will put all linked phrases in bold and provide all of the links at the end of the post. I hope that helps. Here’s the link to the updated version of “The Sickness unto Death.”]

I lived in Germany for about eight months a long time ago and, while German is not a language I’m particularly fond of (it’s also a really difficult one), two of my favorite words are Weltschmerz and Schadenfreude. Neither has an exact English equivalent but each gets at a subtlety of human emotion and experience that has particular poignancy these days.

“Weltschmerz” directly translates as “world pain” but the pain alluded to is deeply personal, the result of the difficulties we confront when the world fails to meet our expectations. It is a kind of world-weariness that comes to feel ineluctable.

And then there’s Schadenfreude (it’s OK to capitalize even in English). Literally a combination of “harm” and “joy,” Schadenfreude is the experience of joy or even self-satisfaction that comes from hearing about the failures or humiliation of another person.

For the purposes of this exercise, however, we’re going to apply the term more narrowly, confining it to the feeling of joy or satisfaction one experiences when a bad person is brought to justice or, at least, suffers some consequences of their malign actions.

Here we go.

The Week of April 30, 2023

• Tucker Carlson got fired from Fox. In some ways, this isn’t a particularly big deal. Fox always manages to replace its worst host with someone even worse. Carlson, or Fish Sticks, as I like to call him, is an heir to the Swanson Frozen Food fortune. (Whenever I remember that, I regret every single one of those TV dinners I ate as a child.) Even without that, the man made upwards of $30 million a year for spewing disinformation, conspiracy theories, and white supremacy on the air. Financially, he’ll be just fine.

  I can’t pretend that this is the end of the line for Carlson. He is exactly the kind of mediocre, entitled, and connected rich white man who consistently fails upwards in America. He may start his own media empire; he might run for president.

  But let’s remember, we still don’t know why he was let go. None of the theories currently being floated makes any sense. I refuse to believe that Fox’s Board of Directors suddenly got skittish about Carlson’s racism and anti-American rhetoric. They paid him tens of millions of dollars specifically to perpetuate those things.

  Carlson didn’t get fired because he used the c-word and treated his female employees with contempt. He didn’t get fired because his recently revealed texts put Fox at a disadvantage in its defamation lawsuits with Dominion Voting Systems and Smartmatic.

  We may never find out the real reason he was fired but if we do it will be worse than anything we’ve heard so far. In the meantime, the seemingly endless stream of texts and videos reveals Fish Sticks to be even more vile and depraved than he appeared on his show. Let’s bask in the negative press that, if it continues, might make him too toxic for employment anywhere but Russia Today.

  And, for the time being, at least, Tucker Carlson is no longer polluting the airwaves—and viewers minds—every night. That’s not nothing.

• This one is from last week but it still makes me laugh—Ron DeSantis set out to prove his mettle on the world stage while attempting to burnish his foreign policy credentials (of which, as far as I’m aware, he has none). It was a disaster and sales of bobblehead Ron dolls skyrocketed. (I’m not sure if that last part is true but I think it’s sound speculation.)

  DeSantis is unlikeable and seems not to know how to behave around people. Once he is faced with reasonable if tough questions asked by reporters he can’t threaten, in a setting he can’t completely control, he gets petulant. With every move the man makes he proves that he will never be a viable force on the national stage.

• President Biden put on his Ray Bans at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner and forever ruined the “Let’s Go Brandon” meme.

  In case you’ve forgotten, back in 2021 a bunch of patriots started chanting “Fuck Joe Biden” at college football games across the South. When those chants broke out during an interview at a NASCAR race, a reporter claimed that the crowd was saying, “Let’s Go Brandon” in support of race car driver Brandon Brown. MAGAts embraced the phrase and a clever (s/)* way of disrespecting the sitting president of the United States was born. They got to show the world how immature they are and whoever came up with the line of Let’s Go Brandon merchandise, likely made a small fortune.

  As soon as Biden embraced his Dark Brandon alter-ego, he effectively ruined the phrase for the right. So, here’s to all of those people who spent money on “Let’s Go Brandon” t-shirts, bumper stickers, and flags. I’m pretty sure they’re going to have to start burning them any day now. Thanks, Dark Brandon!

• Donald got exactly the welcome he deserves in his mother’s native land: a red carpet that looked more like a doormat, a couple of pipers, and signs that will make your heart sing. For an extra helping of Schadenfreude, compare this to Biden’s reception in Ireland.

OK, I changed it from “Trump” to “Donald” but the sentiment remains the same.

(For those who don’t speak Scots, a “jobbie” is a large piece of excrement.)

• It would appear that Jack Smith has a cooperating witness in the stolen classified documents case. Allegedly this person is “a Mar-a-Lago insider,” and their willingness to come forward has resulted in Smith’s handing out even more subpoenas. (Insert popcorn emoji here.)

• In what may be the best news of the week, Enrique Tarrio and three other “Proud Boys” were found guilty of seditious conspiracy—a charge that carries a 20-year prison sentence—as well as other crimes. Seditious conspiracy is a rare and very serious charge, just one step down from treason. This is the third of three trials in which the DoJ has prevailed in getting this type of conviction.

  One of the most significant things about Tarrio’s conviction is that he was not even in D.C. on January 6th. This cannot bode well for those who planned, organized, and incited the insurrection.

  Tarrio has never broken with Donald and, in fact, he contradicted his own defense counsel when they argued that Tarrio was “a scapegoat for Donald Trump and those in power.” After closing arguments, Tarrio said, “If the worst happens, we’re standing on principle.”

  Which he can certainly do. For the rest of his life. In a federal penitentiary. It’s a beautiful thing.

Have a great weekend everybody!

---

* s/—denotes sarcasm

Links:

racism

https://www.cnn.com/2023/05/03/media/tucker-carlson-text-message/index.html

used the c-word

https://www.thedailybeast.com/tucker-carlsons-c-word-use-on-display-in-unredacted-dominion-docs

endless stream of texts and videos

https://www.reuters.com/legal/fox-asks-dominion-voting-probe-leaks-tucker-carlson-messages-2023-05-06/

bobblehead Ron

https://www.thedailybeast.com/internet-has-a-field-day-with-bizarre-clip-of-bobblehead-ron-desantis

White House Corespondents Dinner

https://twitter.com/POTUS/status/1652739499426824194

Let’s Go Brandon

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Let%27s_Go_Brandon#:~:text=On%20October%202%2C%202021%2C%20during,%22%2C%20which%20sparked%20the%20meme.

the welcome he deserves

https://www.scotsman.com/news/opinion/columnists/as-donald-trump-arrives-in-his-home-scotland-any-welcome-should-be-a-chilly-one-scotsman-comment-4125840

Biden’s reception in Ireland

https://www.pressdemocrat.com/article/news/its-the-joe-show-as-biden-closes-out-ireland-visit/

cooperating witness

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/trump-documents-justice-department-florida-b2332881.html

Enrique Tarrio and three other “Proud Boys” were found guilty of seditious conspiracy

https://www.washingtonpost.com/dc-md-va/2023/05/04/proud-boys-verdict-jan6-seditious-conspiracy/