Trump Trolls Trump

Week 85

Speaker of the House: They have full on Trump derangement syndrome, and it informs how they see the world, how they react, and how irresponsible they are. Now it is on full display for the whole country. I hope voters remember this in the fall. You’ve got to keep the grownups in charge, and that’s the Republicans.

So, speaking of Trump derangement syndrome, did you know that Mike Johnson, Speaker of the House, destroyed an entire branch of government just for Donald Trump?

Hello and welcome to this week’s episode of Trump Trolls Trump. It has now been 593 days since Inauguration Day, January 20, 2025, and we’re taking a look back at week 85. We’re getting closer and closer to the midterm elections. In fact, we are now just 59 days away, which is not a lot of time.

So I wanted to take a look back at week 70, when Donald offered up his glowing endorsement of who he thought could be the future Republican ticket, J.D. Vance and Marco Rubio.

This is what Donald said:

So we got a lot of beauties out there. J.D., I envy you and other people. I don’t know. Who’s it going to be? Is it going to be J.D.? Is it going to be somebody else? I don’t know. Does anybody have? Okay, let’s go. You ready? Who likes J.D. Vance? Who likes Marco Rubio? All right. Sounds like a good ticket, J.D. That was a perfect ticket. By the way, I do believe that’s a dream team, but these are minor details. That does not mean you have my endorsement under any circumstance.

As if anybody thinks that guy is going to endorse anybody who could possibly succeed Donald Trump, they are wrong. How could he possibly know who his successor is going to be? Well, he can’t because he doesn’t want anybody to succeed him. He’s just going to hunker down in his bunker. It’s easy to get those words confused. After $900 million, I’m guessing it’s going to be pretty nice.

But here’s the thing. In Donald Trump’s America, it looks like the vice presidency and the presidency are not just beauty contests. They’re popularity contests, too. And based on the tepid response from that tiny sample size, sorry, Little Marco, but you’re going to be stuck manning that Diet Coke button. Because even if J.D. Vance doesn’t drink Diet Coke now, he certainly will if he becomes president of the United States. And please, let’s not let that happen.

Nobody has encapsulated the Republican panic quite as well as Ted Cruz, the Republican senator from Texas who goes on vacation anytime there’s any kind of crisis in his state. As we know, things have gotten so bad that Donald is heading to Texas to campaign for Republicans ahead of the midterms, as if that’s going to help. Many Republican candidates have even started scrubbing any mention of Donald from their campaign websites. So, with that in mind, I wanted to take a look back at what Ted Cruz was already saying in week 73 about the upcoming election.

Ted Cruz: I think this midterm election is the most important midterm we’ve ever seen, that if the Democrats take the House, it will be nonstop impeachment and attacking President Trump every single day. And if they take the Senate, they’ll do that and they’ll also shut down every confirmation for every cabinet member, every judge. It is their view as total warfare.

To which I say, cool. And Ted, stop threatening me with a good time because that sounds like paradise to me.

In week 77, Donald had this to say about crime in Washington, D.C.:

91 percent of the crime in Washington, D.C., as an example, was caused by 2.1 percent of the population. These are many career criminals, sick people, mental problems.

Now look, I know that geography and demographics aren’t Donald’s strong suit, and I also know that D.C. is a relatively small place. But Donald, you alone aren’t 2.1 percent of the population. Let’s get it straight. The vast majority of crime in D.C. is committed by him and his regime.

It was that same week that Baby J.D. Vance, the aforementioned vice president and guy who will never be president, spoke at a campaign rally and asked the crowd who they were going to vote for this year. The fraudsters? Shocking. Yet more self awareness from Baby J.D. Vance.

Baby JD: So I ask you a very simple question. When you come to vote in November, are you going to vote for the pro fraud party? Are you going to vote for the party who is sending your tax money to the fraudsters? No, we’re going to support the party that is sending the fraudsters to jail and is protecting your money. We’re going to vote for Derrick Van Orden and for Bryan Steil.

I’m really confused. Why is J.D. Vance campaigning in a room full of Democrats? That’s weird. Oh, wait. There’s that aforementioned lack of self awareness.

It was in week 80 that we took a look at Donald’s continuing claim that, since the Trump regime took over, the United States has become the hottest country in the world. I still have no idea what that means.

Donald: In just 18 months, we’ve turned this country completely around. The king of Saudi Arabia said to me a year ago, Your country was dead, and now you’ve got the hottest country anywhere in the world. Today we are the hottest country anywhere in the world. Everybody respects us. And today you have the hottest country anywhere in the world. And it’s true. We have the hottest country in the world. The hottest country anywhere in the world. The hottest country anywhere in the world. The hottest country anywhere in the world. The hottest country in the world. Now we have the hottest country in the world. We are the hottest country anywhere in the world. The hottest. The hottest country anywhere in the world. We have the hottest country in the world. Our country was laughed at from all over the world. We were the laughing stock all over the world. They’re not laughing anymore.

Mar a Lago hot? Check. But if he means literally, he’s certainly doing everything in his power to accelerate catastrophic climate change. So, in terms of temperature, we may soon be the hottest country in the world.

I wanted to close today with a voter from Pennsylvania’s expressing her feelings about the last election. At the time, Pennsylvania’s average gas price was about $3.76 a gallon, and the reporter went to the cheapest station in the area, where gas was $3.54 a gallon. He asked one voter what she would say to Donald if she knew Donald would hear her.

This is what the voter said:

You are a worthless pile of...

The reporter then asked her how many times she had voted for Donald.

This is what the voter said:

Three times. That was my bad. Apparently I’m an idiot.

Well, don’t be too hard on yourself. I always appreciate it when adult human beings are able to admit when they were wrong. And one of the reasons we’re in this situation is that Donald Trump is not one of those mature, reasonable human beings. He’s wrong all the time, but he will never admit it.

By the way, that clip wasn’t too long ago, and gas prices are now over $4.20 a gallon. So, well done.

That’s it for this episode of Trump Trolls Trump. Thanks for taking a trip down memory lane with us. We’re going to be back next week because mockery is our superpower, and we will not let these criminals, thieves, and grifters get away with their crime, thieving, and grifting without ridiculing them to the fullest extent of the law.

Please like and share this with your friends and even your enemies, or should I say especially your enemies, because they’ll hate it, and that’s a treat for us.