Mary, everything you say is true. It’s more depressing every day—no, make that every 3 seconds. (Isn’t that the amount of time it takes Cheung to tap your uncle’s decayed brain droppings into a phone?) I was at a neighbor’s home yesterday, and when I mentioned how I hate Herr Drumph, I was given a cold stare. She thinks he is a gem. See, CULT juice is now in our tap water. Meanwhile, 98% of us can barely afford food. And really, isn’t it obvious that global warming is a hoax? Now read the final paragraph below ALOUD—using a Scarlett O’Hara drawl—while fanning yourself with Cryptocurrency bills:
“Monsoons and 110 degrees in the shade, you say? Why, dahlin’, it is SUMMER, after all! Dip your feet in the cool Mississippi. Watch out for those Alcatraz alligators. Have some orange Kool-Aid, dahlin’. The South is risin’ again!”
One of your best, Mary. OMG Kevin McCarthy. He was an embarrassment to all Californians (his home state) when he was in Congress, and these statements are even more embarrassing. What could be possibly have been thinking? The R’s have a treasure trove of offal candidates for high office, starting right at the top in the Offal Office and hardly ever abating. We need to vote out every one of them. Don’t leave a single R in office. And I did mean offal. I can’t think of a single one of them who doesn’t qualify for that distinction.
Donald: "...You know who’s number one on TikTac by far? Trump. Me. I’m number one. Taylor Swift was number eleven. I’m number one by far. They sent me the list. Number one, number two. I was number one by a lot. I think it helped me win the election in a landslide."
No. He's number two on Tik Tac. Number two by a mile.
Mary could just as well have cited Ken Paxton as the more-than-immoral equivalent of Platner. You could not find a better example of Republican hypocrisy than their silence in non-response to the adjudicated criminality of Paxton.
Thank you for the article, Mary. Those fireworks were a big joke. It was like a massive explosion. He also kept calling, President Zelenskyy, President Putin, he is getting real bad about this. He is definitely declining in a big way. He walks like a mummy.
Mary, you’re the best. I hope we get to save the ionic columns at least. Wasn’t that the preferred style in ancient turkey, Ivanka? Hmm maybe Doric. Not Corinthian with all those acanthus leaves!! Too fancy for DC.
You know, I completely believe that Trump is number one on TikTok. Although it’s not what he thinks. It’s all people making fun of him and pointing out his medical issues.
Excellent column, BTW. I don’t comment a lot but I love your work.
So, that trip to Turkey, based on the GAO estimates (and not counting personnel, probably) at around $4m to $4,500,000. Also not counting the Qatari jet. Let’s not get going on the cost of dozens of round trips to golf in Florida.
Good trolling, Mary. You made me laugh out loud and read passages to my boyfriend.
Great great great comedy writing today.
I hate yer uncle and hope he fries after he dies.
Mary, everything you say is true. It’s more depressing every day—no, make that every 3 seconds. (Isn’t that the amount of time it takes Cheung to tap your uncle’s decayed brain droppings into a phone?) I was at a neighbor’s home yesterday, and when I mentioned how I hate Herr Drumph, I was given a cold stare. She thinks he is a gem. See, CULT juice is now in our tap water. Meanwhile, 98% of us can barely afford food. And really, isn’t it obvious that global warming is a hoax? Now read the final paragraph below ALOUD—using a Scarlett O’Hara drawl—while fanning yourself with Cryptocurrency bills:
“Monsoons and 110 degrees in the shade, you say? Why, dahlin’, it is SUMMER, after all! Dip your feet in the cool Mississippi. Watch out for those Alcatraz alligators. Have some orange Kool-Aid, dahlin’. The South is risin’ again!”
One of your best, Mary. OMG Kevin McCarthy. He was an embarrassment to all Californians (his home state) when he was in Congress, and these statements are even more embarrassing. What could be possibly have been thinking? The R’s have a treasure trove of offal candidates for high office, starting right at the top in the Offal Office and hardly ever abating. We need to vote out every one of them. Don’t leave a single R in office. And I did mean offal. I can’t think of a single one of them who doesn’t qualify for that distinction.
As always, thanks, Mary. What you're demonstrating about the finer points of mockery and ridicule through "Trump Trolls Trump" is priceless.
Donald: "...You know who’s number one on TikTac by far? Trump. Me. I’m number one. Taylor Swift was number eleven. I’m number one by far. They sent me the list. Number one, number two. I was number one by a lot. I think it helped me win the election in a landslide."
No. He's number two on Tik Tac. Number two by a mile.
Mary could just as well have cited Ken Paxton as the more-than-immoral equivalent of Platner. You could not find a better example of Republican hypocrisy than their silence in non-response to the adjudicated criminality of Paxton.
Thank you for the article, Mary. Those fireworks were a big joke. It was like a massive explosion. He also kept calling, President Zelenskyy, President Putin, he is getting real bad about this. He is definitely declining in a big way. He walks like a mummy.
Please write guidelines about how to combine hilarity and tragedy in sentence after sentence!
Wonderful! Very well-conceived and nicely written - very funny!! Thank you!
Mary, you’re the best. I hope we get to save the ionic columns at least. Wasn’t that the preferred style in ancient turkey, Ivanka? Hmm maybe Doric. Not Corinthian with all those acanthus leaves!! Too fancy for DC.
I can't wait to see what is happening to the N side of the White House. All hidden with tarps, what is going on.
You know, I completely believe that Trump is number one on TikTok. Although it’s not what he thinks. It’s all people making fun of him and pointing out his medical issues.
Excellent column, BTW. I don’t comment a lot but I love your work.
Ode to Donald T Trump
Thank You for showing us how fragile our democracy is
Thank You for reminding us of the evil in this world
Thank You for showing us how damaging ignorance can be
Thank You for exposing the corruption in our system
Thank You for reminding us to be vigilant
Thank You for showing us how gullible we can be
Thank You for teaching us the not to believe everything we’re told
Thank You for showing us the importance of thinking for ourselves
Thank You for reminding us of how hatred can corrupt
Thank You for threatening our democracy
Thank You showing us the dangers of raw greed
Thank You for reminding us how great America was before you
Thank You for showing how inhumane humans can be
Thank You for demonstrating what power without brains looks like
Thank You for showing us why God gave us the 10 commandments
Thank You for all the human misery you’ve caused.
Thank You for not starting a nuclear war YET!
Bravo. And the Retrumplikins keep giving us so much material to work with!
So, that trip to Turkey, based on the GAO estimates (and not counting personnel, probably) at around $4m to $4,500,000. Also not counting the Qatari jet. Let’s not get going on the cost of dozens of round trips to golf in Florida.