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Bronwyn Fryer's avatar

Mary, I have posted this elsewhere, but I went through hell in 1988 and it is nothing like the hell she is going througjh. This is the story of my abortion.

It’s 1988, and I’m living just south of San Francisco when I find myself pregnant. My then-husband and I receive the news happily. Other than bouts of morning sickness, everything goes swimmingly through the first trimester. If feel my baby move at around 4 months or so. I go for an amniocentesis test at the recommended 17 weeks.

It takes about 2 weeks to get the results, and they are both devastating and unquestionable.

My baby girl has a severe genetic defect called Trisomy 13. Also called Patau syndrome, Trisomy 13 is a chromosomal condition that causes severe intellectual disability heart defects, brain or spinal cord abnormalities, very small or poorly developed eyes, additional fingers and toes, cleft lip, and weak muscles. Most infants with Trisomy 13 die within their first days or weeks of life, if they even make it that far.

As much as I want her, there is no question of carrying this baby to term. Not only because caring for this ill-fated child would be impossible under our circumstances, but because I was frightened by what happened to my own mother.

She became pregnant with her 3rd child when I was 2, and he died in utero at 8 months. Back in the 1950s, the only option available was for her to deliver the baby "naturally." So she carried him, knowing he was dead, until he was born at 9 months. I don't know what this experience might have done to her physically -- there was not real gynecological care back then, and she might have had sepsis too -- but it drove her into terrible postpartum depression from which she never recovered. By the time I was 3 years old she’d devolved into paranoid schizophrenia. When I was 12, she was institutionalized. She received 35 shock treatments that did nothing to restore her mental health, and died when I was 17.

I never really had a mother.

I felt that I too could easily be driven into unrecoverable depression myself if my situation continued. So I finally received my abortion at 22 weeks after a difficult search for a provider. My milk came in afterwards. I cried for weeks.

The moral of the story is this: forcing a woman to have even a <wanted> but seriously deformed baby can be devastating. Just imagine what it’s like for desperate women in red states right now.

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William Burke's avatar

Thank you for sharing your story. That took courage.

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Bronwyn Fryer's avatar

Kate Cox is the really courageous one. Imagine how the crazy zealots are going after her right now. I could go home to my lofty redwood nest in the Santa Cruz Mountains and heal. She can't go home safely.

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Marty's avatar

The sadness of your story is magnified a million times because there are non-doctor monsters making health decisions for women they despise. There is no other logical conclusion. Ken Paxton, aka Satan, a "Judge" who made his own wife almost die, arrested for protesting abortions and other insane things made the decisions she wasn't sick enough.

So sad about your life story. It clearly affected your life deeply. But, you more than most of us can see the nightmare that red state women haters are doing to our moms, sisters, daughters and wives. We have to organize and mobilize and vote them out. I sincerely hope women will roar and show their power. It's time to fight back.

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Charna Syposnik's avatar

Their opinions about when life begins is the biggest bunch of b******* I ever heard in my whole f****** life

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John M Pillin Jr's avatar

AGREED 🩵

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Joyce Marie Hand's avatar

Absolutely, babies are in men. They were once called seeds, now, sperms, but are boy & girl babies who need an egg to grow.

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Charna Syposnik's avatar

Oh and they don't need an egg to grow. Chromosomes determine sex not sperm. Each sperm has either an X chromosome or a Y chromosome it's all about which one lands in the egg and no one has control over that. It's the egg that needs the sperm not the other way around. Tell me when you buy eggs are they fertilized or unfertilized? Fertilized eggs are much healthier, but they don't sell them that way. Fertilized chicken Eggs have enough lecitin in them to fight the cholesterol in them

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Charna Syposnik's avatar

Did you know plants come in genders? So do the seeds of plants have little boy and girl babies in them?

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Charna Syposnik's avatar

You know it's kind of funny how a dead baby can still be born. What do these people know about pro-life and when life begins. They're so full of s*** I just want to kill them all

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Joyce Marie Hand's avatar

Living & swimming babies are in the balls/testicles of men called sperms which are boy & girl babies. Don't believe me, look it up.

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the real pambo's avatar

Good point! There’s nothing pro-life about any of this, only cruelty.

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Joyce Marie Hand's avatar

Unjust Laws!

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John M Pillin Jr's avatar

Extremely Touching Bronwyn: I was in San Francisco 1988 to 1994 my mom diagnosed with schizophrenia 1969 me 2 yo. I too never knew my mom because she disappeared into her work became very irrational. My mom's sisters told me what she was like b4 ECT for Schizophrenia. Thank You For Sharing I Can Truly Relate. Love & Peace To You ❤️

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Bronwyn Fryer's avatar

I am very sorry, John. Yes, we have our mothers' tragedies in common. And yes, SF.

love and peace to you as well.

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Judy Katz's avatar

John,

Please see my post,

Thanks,

Judy

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Judy Katz's avatar

Bronwyn, please see my post. Thanks,

Judy

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Roslyn Reid's avatar

This explains a lot--Judge Devine thinks it's OK for parents to watch their doomed baby die because he did? Judges are to follow the law, not their personal experiences. We need to hold them to this.

#CoxIsTheNewRoe

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David Smith's avatar

But, the Republicans are making it very clear that they don't want democracy and that they do demand a Christian government in a Christian nation where everyone has to follow the rules of the Christian church to be named later by them. So, now we know who they are and what they are up to, and it's up to us to spread the warning.

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Joyce Marie Hand's avatar

Jesus is not in the Church.

Man has turned the Church into a money making business.

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David Smith's avatar

The most important point is that they feel attacked.

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Genevieve M Petruzzelli's avatar

Mary, I stand with you! I am in Illinois, and am fortunate to have a solid blue home. I have been a sustaining Planned Parenthood member for years. For my 70th birthday in lieu of gifts I am encouraging friends to support the Democrats in Red , Christo-fascist states. Yes our Democracy is in deep , difficult fight for its very existence! I'm an election judge , have been for the past 5 years. I am a fearless, Buddhist,, Black, Air Force veteran. I will give every ounce of my energy to halt the White supremacists trying to return to the insanity of "America First" and the obscenity of the authoritarian nightmare being shoved at my beloved (though flawed) country.

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Katie Galvin's avatar

Thank you for your service, and I am with you...very proud to be in Illinois where women have rights!

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Margaret Wilkins's avatar

From Perth Australia...Thank you..

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Joyce Marie Hand's avatar

Hello, how are you. Can you get a message to Planned Parenthood?

They need to speak the truth.

If the truth is revealed, everything will change.

Men carry the babies. Living, swimming, babies. If women can not abort, neither can men.

We women only have eggs. We also have rights. We decide who can use our egg or eggs or our bodies.

We have power. No sex until we get our rights back. Protest! Protest is our right.

Tell all organizations to not have sex until the law changes.

We must use our power.

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Nancy Roessel's avatar

Thank you for standing with the people! We need to keep our democracy! I hope people understand the existential crisis we would face with a Trump presidency! He would never leave office and we would never have a free and fair election again!

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Patricia Jaeger's avatar

There's a reason the anti-abortion laws in red states that allow for an abortion for the health of the woman or for a medical emergency are written using such vague language. They're daring woman and doctors to use those exceptions because they can then go after them saying that particular case doesn't meet the exception. Laws should not be written in such a vague way making fear and punishment the end result. These laws are also resulting in fewer and fewer OB/GYN residencies in those states. This means fewer doctors for pregnant people, especially in rural areas. These laws cause harm in the present and in the future. The only option is to vote Blue. Every Republican, at every level, follows their leader.

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David Berman's avatar

While it is sad to hear stories such as that of Mrs. Cox, it is also vital that we take stories such as hers and highlight them in the months leading up to the 2024 election. Just as Hadley Duvall's personal horror story helped Andy Beshear retain the governorship of Kentucky, we need to keep sharing these stories. One thing that double-talking Uncle Donald can't run away from is his bragging about his Supreme Court nominees and their overturning of Roe v. Wade, claiming personal credit for it, as is his m.o., when it happened. History will record that the SC gave progressives an unintended gift with their "fuck you" decision, and this may be the "supreme" irony of the 2024 elections.

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David Smith's avatar

Correct, and very important that we keep sharing these stories.

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Joseph F Wightman's avatar

Christo-Fascist criminal leaders. Says it all. Texas and Florida and Texas and 91 indictments are Biden's secret weapon no matter what the corporate communist advertising media says.

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Bonnie Brooks's avatar

If Old Orange Man would to be President again, he is planning a roast for all of us. As, I have always said, we all must fight like it will be our last breath that we are taking. Thank You Mary for being so brave to stand up for us and yourself. We will stand together and we all will beat this devil at his game.

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Mike Hammer's avatar

Ken Paxton is runner up for the most evil man in America.

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Al Bellenchia's avatar

“There may be times when we are powerless to prevent injustice, but there must never be a time when we fail to protest.” – Elie Wiesel.

Protest now. Then act.

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Fay Reid's avatar

As I've said all along, abortions are a medical procedure. It has nothing to do with the government, the law or judges. Like all medical procedures, those involved are the adult patient and their physician. For children, parents or guardians are also involved. So, unless all government officials at any level of government are willing to spend four years studying medicine KEEP YOUR NOSES OUT OF MEDICAL PROCEDURES.

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msaw's avatar

sorry, thought I saw that you were offering different levels of subscriptions.. cannot seem to locate.

Keep thinking of the little old folks, homebound, do not eat out, do not do drugs legal or otherwise, have made efforts to keep a low impact on the planet.. fixed income result in just enough to eat and heat..kids pay for wifi..but sigh..life passes us by because we cannot keep up with new $$ reality.

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Lisa P. Singer's avatar

Apologies hope you don’t mind me chiming in. There are different levels of subscriptions. But don’t stress most post are free for all subscribers. Thank you.

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Judy Katz's avatar

Lisa,

Please see my post, thanks

For your past likes,

Judy

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Lisa P. Singer's avatar

Will do. Thank you.

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Joseph F Wightman's avatar

Christo-Fascist criminal leaders in Texas are going to learn the hard way: Women and children are not property.

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Mwfeiger's avatar

Since I was 18 yo in 1979, I have been a one-issue voter...CHOICE! If a politician is Pro-Choice, all the other important pieces fall right in line with a person that will be dedicated to the electorate's well-being. Anti-Choice, (all Republicans generally), are either 'fundamentalists' (always dangerous), or possess interests that will not allow me my freedom(s) or worst.

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Jody Mendes's avatar

There is hope... thank you Mary! 💙👍🏻🌟

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Sky 777's avatar

I so appreciate the courage of Ms Cox and the young woman in Kentucky.

Knowing that it is a huge ask, I am nonetheless hoping that these courageous young women as well as others adversely impacted by the cruel laws enacted by the ChristoFascist Republicans will continue to come forward. They can speak their truths and wake people up! Bless them, everyone.

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Sky 777's avatar

I felt badly that I couldn’t remember the name of the young woman in Kentucky so I looked it up. Her name is Hadley Duvall. Here is her story:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2023/12/04/kentucky-abortion-ad/

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