It’s been 614 days since Donald came back for term two, and yes, it continues to get worse. Though there’s still plenty to laugh about, which is really the only way to survive watching this regime fumble through week after week of self-created disasters.
This week, we’re looking back at week 88, and Donald thinks he did a fantastic job at the United Nations. He’s convinced he got “good marks” for his speech, which is generous of him to assume anyone was actually grading. Here’s what actually happened at that UN General Assembly address.
Donald threatened to annihilate Iran. Not negotiate with Iran. Not work toward a peaceful resolution with Iran. Annihilate. He asked whether he should drive them into hell—which is exactly the kind of measured, diplomatic, statesman-like thing you want to hear from the President of the United States at the United Nations.
He also called out the International Criminal Court for being “out of control” and urged member nations to withdraw from it. Never mind that the United States isn’t even a member of the ICC, though frankly, we desperately need to be. And then there’s his take on Venezuela.
Donald defended US military action in Venezuela, the action where we kidnapped the sitting head of state by invoking an old saying. Here’s what he said:
To the victor belong the spoils
That’s his justification for America stealing Venezuela’s oil. At the United Nations. In front of the world.
He also declared that while other people talk about peace, he actually makes peace. I’m sure that was not at all a hint to the Nobel Peace Prize Committee. Even the New York Times couldn’t ignore it, saying that, “ Donald’s speech at the UN General Assembly amounted to a rejection of the founding concept of the United Nations.” It’s kind of like putting Linda McMahon in charge of dismantling the Department of Education while being Secretary of Education.
Now, there was one moment during the speech where Donald was actually coherent. He went on and on about artificial intelligence. And you know why he was coherent about it? Because it’s making him obscenely wealthy. But his solution to AI? He wants to rebrand it.
From this point forward, all of United States documents and hopefully the world’s will be changed to use the much more accurate term super as opposed to artificial. So it’s super intelligence. In other words, welcome to the new world of super intelligence—SI. SI. Let’s see if that goes. It sounds much better. It is much better and it’s much more accurate. Let’s see if I have any power. Maybe I do and maybe I don’t. We’re going to find out pretty soon. Super intelligence.
So according to Donald, we should all start calling it SI. Super Intelligence. He’s genuinely asking if he has the power to rebrand something that thousands of companies and researchers around the world have been calling by the same name for years. If I’m being honest, I’m sure Google Maps is right on it. But why not just cut to the chase and save a step? Just call it Donald. You know you want to.
Something else happened at the UN this week. Donald berated CNN’s Kaitlin Collins and told her she shouldn’t even be there. Why? Because last Friday, he had her White House press pass revoked. He banned CNN, MSNBC, and Politico from the White House, calling them “fake news.”
Get some new material, please.
In response, the TV pool, ABC, CBS, CNN, Fox, and NBC has suspended its coverage. So when Donald had the ribbon-cutting ceremony for his shiny new helipad on Monday, something he’s very excited about, something interesting happened. We couldnt hear anything becasue the press wasn’t there to mic him.
Reporter: Okay. So there’s no microphone because the pool cameras aren’t there. So maybe, Tim, this is one example of it backfiring just a little bit. Pick up on some of the things Michael was saying, and obviously the ramifications are right here. Can’t hear what the president’s saying.
That’s from Newsmax, essentially state-run TV that’s in Donald’s pocket and even they couldn’t ignore the self-created fiasco. Donald stripped away press passes and ended up without a microphone. That’s almost as tragic for him as being without a camera.
Half the time, and that’s assuming he’s awake, Donald doesn’t seem to know where he is or who he’s sitting next to. Take this scene from Wednesday at the UN.
I want to thank Secretary of State Marco Rubio. Where’s Marco? Where’s Marco? Where’s Marco? He’s never very far away.
Marco Is sitting right next to him.
To be fair, who among us could know who’s sitting right next to us at a pre-planned event? Though honestly, Rubio does have a habit of fading into the woodwork. And how do you recognize a man whose main job is to keep track of the Diet Coke button?
Then there’s Melania, who’s very, very busy cashing in her checks from the postnup she keeps having Donald sign. When things are bad enough that even she has to go on Fox and Friends and try to defend him yet still can’t come up with anything believable.
Melania the Fashionista First Lady: He’s very focused. He has a lot on his plate. It’s very different what’s going on around the world now, but I think he’s doing the best that he can.
I’m assuming she was being literal when she said he has a lot on his plate, because that’s really the only believable thing she said.
Before we move on, a quick reminder: please make sure you’re registered to vote, your registration is current, and keep checking up until the moment you cast your ballot or head to the polls.
This week in Ohio, Republican Vivek Ramaswamy decided to take a shot at Democrat Amy Acton for supposedly not making herself available to reporters. There was just one problem. He asked reporters about her alleged unavailability, and this is how that unfolded:
Actually, I’m curious about the answer to that question. You guys would know. When was the last time that Amy Acton gave you an opportunity to do what we’re doing today and have done twice this week?
The reporters responded immediately.
Yesterday. Yesterday.
Even non-lawyers know you never ask a question to which you don’t already know the answer. But there we are.
Now let’s talk about our favorite backyard chicken lady, Secretary of Agriculture Brooke Rollins, who decided to offer some economic advice this week.
Grocery prices are up across the board. Diesel is over $6.50 a gallon. But the real problem? Beef prices. Donald’s solution? Open the door to 380,000 metric tons of additional foreign beef this year—nearly 840 million pounds—with hundreds of millions more scheduled to come over the next two months. This undercuts American ranchers, the very people he claims to care about so much.
American cattle ranchers have pushed back, warning that additional foreign beef could drive down prices when many of them are already struggling. But Brooke Rollins has a solution for Americans who can’t afford beef.
If it is too expensive, unlike fuel, you can eat chicken, pork, salmon, eggs. There are other sources of really good protein and all of those prices are coming down as well. So it isn’t necessarily breaking out there. And listen, I’m a mom of four. I’m still feeding a whole bunch of kids, very hungry kids. We realize the price of groceries are too high. We’re doing everything we can to bring them down after the Biden years of crazy, crazy inflation.
Oh my goodness gracious. Here’s another way to support cattle ranchers: stop buying their product. Perfect. Yes, that’s exactly the message to send to the people whose livelihoods depend on Americans buying beef. And with all the meat being recalled because it hasn’t been properly inspected, we’re very close to something much worse.
This whole week was a disaster from every angle. And what can you expect from Donald and his co-conspirators at this point? The mockery writes itself. Mockery is our superpower, and we’ll be back each and every week to hold these grifters to account. They make it easy, to be fair, but they deserve every bit of our mocking contempt.
Thank you for your support and see you next week for an all new episode of Trump Trolls Trump.
In TWO years, this maniac has brought the United States from the leader of the free world to the laughing stock of the entire world.
Mary, you are priceless.