Trump Trolls Trump Week 73

13 June, 2026

Donald Trump Truth Social Post June 7th, 2025:

Ted Cruz: I think this midterm election is the most important midterm we’ve ever seen, that if the Democrats take the House, they will be nonstop impeachment and attacking President Trump every single day. And if they take the Senate, they’ll do that and they’ll also shut down every confirmation for every cabinet member, every judge. It is their view is total warfare.

Total warfare?

We’re not the ones who started an illegal, unconstitutional war of choice.

But on the other hand, there is Ted Cruz threatening me with a good time again.

If we do take back the House, it will be nonstop impeachment. Why? Because Donald Trump commits impeachable offenses on what feels like a daily basis.

So yes, that is exactly what should happen.

And if we take back the Senate, which I am pretty sure we are going to do, well, let’s just say Ted Cruz will probably decamp to Cancun again.

Ted, thank you in advance.

It has now been 502 days since Donald’s inauguration on January 20, 2025, which is a very long time.

And yes, indeed, it somehow feels much longer.

Welcome to this week’s edition of Trump Trolls Trump.

You know the drill.

We are going to continue mocking these people relentlessly because they deserve it, because it works, and because it is fun.

So let’s look back at week 73 of the so called golden age.

We all watched Donald crash Game 3 of the New York Knicks San Antonio Spurs NBA Finals at Madison Square Garden, in the heart of New York City, a city that rejects and reviles him.

And we all saw the reaction.

Not only was Donald booed resoundingly inside Madison Square Garden, he was booed at watch parties across the city, across the country, and probably in front of every television occupied by a sentient human being.

It was impossible to miss unless, of course, you happen to be a delusional narcissist incapable of processing reality.

Donald: I thought great. I mean, I thought it was amazing, actually. You mean when they had the camera on me? I thought it was very good. Yeah. It was certainly amazing. It was, I think, mostly cheers. It was loud and it was very enthusiastic.

Keep telling yourself that.

I suppose what he really means is, “I was on television, therefore everything was wonderful.”

He says it was great. He says it was amazing. On those points, I actually agree. The only part that strains credibility is the claim that it was mostly cheers.

Let’s consult reality instead. Those were boo’s.

Now let’s talk about baby J.D. Vance, the man who is presumably vice president of the United States.

Whatever his role in government actually is, and that is becoming increasingly difficult to determine, he certainly does not seem to know what is happening inside his own administration.

This week he was asked about negotiations with Iran, and his answer revealed that he has absolutely no idea what is going on.

Vance: Right now, I feel that we are in a position to get a deal that is good for the United States economically and that really does deal with the Iranian nuclear program, not just now, not just while Donald Trump is president, but for the long term, to where my kids can say when they’re adults, Iran is not going to have a nuclear weapon. That’s the goal of the policy and I think we’re very close to achieving that goal, but we still got some wood to chop and we’re going to keep doing it.

When asked how soon that deal could happen, Vance responded:

Oh, absolutely. No, I think we’re going to know a lot before the midterm elections. Look, I think that the deal could happen in the next week, but the deal could also happen months from now.

Well, that is comforting.

Sometime between next week and the midterm elections.

That is quite a range.

And if they are now telling us we could still be at war in November after Donald has declared dozens of times that the war is already over, that is not exactly reassuring.

To be fair to J.D. Vance, and I am not entirely sure why I bother, Donald does not appear to know what is happening either.

Which suggests Pete Hegseth probably does not know either.

Nor, apparently, does anybody else running the Department of Defense.

Quite frankly, that is unnerving. Speaking of unnerving, Ted Cruz.

Remember when Donald insulted Cruz’s wife?

Actually, first he promoted a conspiracy theory claiming Cruz’s father helped assassinate John F. Kennedy.

Then he insulted Cruz’s wife by essentially calling her ugly. Most spouses would probably take offense at something like that.

It did not take long for Ted Cruz to swallow whatever microscopic shred of dignity he had left and endorse Donald anyway.

Then there was the time millions of Texans lost power during a deadly winter storm while Cruz escaped to Cancun for a vacation.

I am not entirely sure what word exists for somebody like that.

This week Ted Cruz decided to question the masculinity of another Texan, state representative James Talarico.

Cruz: I got to say, if you were making a list of a thousand adjectives to describe this guy, masculine would not be one of them. I mean, this guy, if a stiff breeze came by, it would blow him over like a feather. There’s also a guy who his campaign, he ran a vegan no meat campaign because meat is destroying the world. He’s opposed to oil and gas. This is the Democrat Party.

It is Democratic.

Ted Cruz graduated from Harvard.

Presumably he knows what adjectives are. Or at least he should. If not, Harvard may want to revisit its admissions standards.

Apparently we are supposed to believe Ted Cruz is now the nation’s foremost authority on masculinity. Personally, I do not care. It seems like an odd qualification for public office. What are they going to do? Arm wrestle? Challenge each other to duels?

Fight in a cage match on the White House lawn?

But if we are defining masculinity, I would have thought one basic requirement would be defending your spouse when another man publicly attacks her.

What do I know?

I grew up in a family with Donald Trump, who knows absolutely nothing about being a real man. Which brings us to one of my favorite topics.

The Reflecting Pool.

We already know Donald has spent much of his second term sleeping through cabinet meetings and public events.

When he is awake, however, he has devoted remarkable attention to alienating allies, starting illegal and unconstitutional wars of choice, and stumbling from one self inflicted crisis to another.

But there are certain things that truly capture his attention. And those priorities tell us everything we need to know. We already know the ballroom ranks high on the list. As does the proposed Arc de Trump. Now we can add the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool.

Donald insists on calling it a reflecting lake. He also insists it somehow belongs to him.

And he appears convinced that because it is longer than some buildings are tall, that fact alone is deeply significant.

Unfortunately, the renovation has reportedly ballooned to nearly four times its original budget. Which, admittedly, makes it one of the more authentically Trump projects in Washington. Donald recently posted before and after photos comparing the pool during President Obama’s administration with the newly renovated version.

At first glance, the one on the right certainly appears cleaner.

But because technology exists, we decided to take a closer look.

Specifically, at the clouds. Remarkably, the clouds appear almost identical. The birds even seem to be flying in nearly the same formation.

Now, I am going to go out on a limb and suggest the odds that clouds photographed more than a decade apart would occupy precisely the same positions are vanishingly small.

So either the White House patiently waited for atmospheric conditions to recreate themselves exactly, or somebody discovered Photoshop.

Considering this project reportedly cost thirteen million dollars, perhaps digital editing was included in the budget.

Whether it was worth it remains questionable because reports indicate that shortly after the pool was refilled, algae immediately began forming again.

Good job, Donald.

This week Donald discussed the Reflecting Pool yet again.

Donald: The one that we’re all talking about is the almost 2,500 foot long. That’s taller than any building in the world, actually. There’s no building that’s 2,500 feet tall, I don’t think, but it’s like twice the height of the Empire State Building as an example, much wider. So we just got that open last night. We went to do it before July 4th, and it is incredible. It was originally called 1922 was built. It was called the Reflecting Pond or the Reflecting Lake some people called it.

Nobody calls it that.

First, the Reflecting Pool has no height at all.

Second, in the future, can we please elect a President of the United States who understands the difference between height, length, and width?

Thank you.

Before we go, one last thing.

Inflation climbed to 4.2 percent in May, marking the third consecutive monthly increase and the highest level in more than three years.

Americans are paying more for everything from groceries to gasoline because of Donald’s disastrous economic policies and his illegal war of choice.

This is entirely on him.

Remember, he ran on lowering inflation.

Under President Biden, inflation finished at 2.9 percent. And yes, math is difficult for some people, but 2.9 is lower than 4.2. Inflation is now rising faster than wages, meaning Americans’ paychecks buy less every month.

Donald should be panicking.

Instead, this is what he said.

Reporter: Concern, Mr. President, about the latest inflation number which came out this morning. Could that be a?

Donald: No. I love it. The numbers were great. You know what I really love? I love the inflation. You know why? Because as soon as this war is over, I can say it now. Something you didn’t know. Do you know we’ve been taking out millions of barrels of oil? Nobody knows it. You know who doesn’t know about it? Iran until right now. We took out the other night 22 ships late at night with no lights because they don’t have any radar because we blasted the crap out of it.

He loves inflation.

Democrats, there is your 2026 bumper sticker.

Donald Trump loves inflation.

So to everyone who voted for him because they believed he would fix the economy and lower prices, thank you so much. Every single day Donald Trump reminds us exactly who he has always been.

Nothing has changed.

The only surprising thing about those comments is that he did not immediately pivot back to talking about the Reflecting Pool.

Thank goodness for small miracles.

That does it for this week’s edition of Trump Trolls Trump.

Remember, mockery is our superpower.

Fortunately for us, these people never stop providing material.

Until next time. Thank you